Since I'm home all day, and my moms home all day too, now we actually see each other. It was bad enough back when both of us worked and we only saw each other for 2 hours tops per day, but now its closer to about 12 hours a day that I have to spend around my mom.
Most of us all know how stereotypical Asian moms are. "Why you have A-? You should have A+++. I disown you now failure son" etc. etc.
Spending so much time around my mom made me realize what other... lets call them "talents" she posses.
What stood out the most would be the wonderful illogical connections. Pretty sure all Asian parents have said something about how many grains of rice left in your dinner bowl is how many pimples your future spouse has. It has no scientific basis and is just said so little kids don't waste food. Apparently my mom thinks it works with everything. So we hear her say stuff like "you have allergies because you don't wash dishes enough" or "stop slouching, that's why you have white hair" or mix and match "you have allergies because you slouch". Then there's college related stuff like "you got rejected form UCLA because you listen to your ipod" or "M.I.T. will reject you because you're not listening to me in the car". And the all time classic, "You're not tall enough because you..
-Sleep too much
-Sleep too little
-Run track
-Swim too little
-Don't jump enough
-Don't weight train enough
-Don't play with Spike enough
-Didn't buy me water"
The reason changes depending on what's convenient.
Honestly, WTF. Normally we would just ignore her and let her ramble on, except now we have to ignore her for longer amounts of time because shes around us more often. Plus she's getting really really clingy.
She also has a very creative imagination, usually mentioned when I drive. "You're going to drive to Vons, then on the way the way there, you're going to get mugged, then get into a car accident, then get lost, then your car will run out of gas and a electric pole will crash down on you, then when you're on the freeway there will be a 15.9 earthquake where the freeway bridge will collapse and your insurance rates will go up and your car will have scratches in it. Oh, then the police will pull you over for drunk driving. That's why you don't need to drive" How is it even possible for all that to happen on a 3 minute drive to Vons, with no freeway use? I don't know either. She also seems to think our vacuum cleaner will explode after 5 minutes of continuous use and my computer is the cause of global warming.
